THE TITLE ON THE PAPER "REJOICING IN TRIBULATION"

"Rejoicing in ...  TRIBULATION!"   Lord please help me to have a rejoicing spirit.
I am looking back at this last nine months and there has been so much, and i don't feel I have a rejoicing spirit. I can only eat this elephant one bite at a time, one event at a time. 

Like so many others we lost work, and then went through months of what seems to be tribulation.  In the past year alone, we have had a foreclosure on our house, months of unemployment hang ups, the paper work from one state to another and back again,  it can't get to the right person. We are told to be patient, and I have tried not to complain. We waited for Washington State, and it was three months, and now this time it has been 10 weeks so far for Oregon to get information from Washington. We have late charges, lost our Life Insurance we paid on for ten years, health insurace that can't be paid, I have never had to get food stamps before in my life. Not to mention utilities...  Oh, I am just venting!!  When I am supose to be "REJOICING IN TRIBULATION...  something must be wrong with me.   Because I am not rejoicing.  Yes, I can quote scripture and I can walk away from houses and lands and insurances, and ... I can give them to the Lord.

But now what do I do with all this stress?  Well, it seems to me I stuff it because Christians are not supose to complain. Oh, most of the time I am fine with it all, but when i get sick I just can't handle one more thing.  During all this I had a bleeding ulcer, and passed out, ended up in the Hospital for 4 days. Two here in Madras, and then when they could not stop the bleeding was rushed to Bend for two more days, and 8 units of blood.  I have other health issues that are affected by stress. IBS that is out of control, a hip that is screaming at me.  Ten years ago I had back surgery, and i have over done it. 

Then God brings my husband home from his job with a bad knee.  Hospital bills, WOW! Even though we had two insurances, they don't pay.    They can't talk to each other and figure out who should pay for what.

God is not to blame, and it is not these kinds of tribulations, that we are to rejoice in.  But Paul was going through tougher things, like being stoned, beaten, etc.

When are we to take control, and fight this spiritual warfare?   Job 23:2-10  "Even today my complaint is bitter; my hand is listless because of my groaning. Oh, that I knew where I might find HIM, that I might come to HIS seat! I would present my case before HIM, and fill my mouth with arguments.  I would know the words which He would answer me, and understand what HE would say to me.  Would he contend with me in HIS great power?  No! But HE would take note of me.  There the upright could reason with HIM, and I would be delivered forever from my judge.  Look, I go forward, but I cannot perceive HIM; when He works on the left hand, I cannot behold HIM; when He turns to the right hand, I cannot see HIM.  BUT HE KNOWS THE WAY I TAKE; WHEN HE HAS TESTED ME, I SHALL COME FORTH AS GOLD." ...  I am not the first one to go through lifes hard stuff, nor will I be the last.  Satan is out to kill, steal and destroy. How foolish of him, to think that what he means for evil, ... that I won't go to God, and when I give it to God,  it will not return void,  but will accomplish that which the Lord desires in me.  His ways are still the only way... I am reminded of my life before Jesus, and I could never ever want to go back to that way of life. I guess I am Rejoicing in my tribulation, because I know where it is coming from and it is not of God.

Psalm 61:1-5  "Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.  From the ends of the earth I cry out to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe.  I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.  For you have heard my vows, O God; you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name."
 

Tonight I was venting, and God understood and came to me and showed me I would never go back to my life before Christ.  I will continuely Praise Him. I know my Lord will come again.  Get behind me Satan, and leave my family alone.  Repay seven fold what has been stolen. In Jesus name.

IT HAS BEEN NINE MONTHS

THIS MORNING I WOKE UP HAVING extream pain in my hips and legs. Tried to go back to sleep but could only lay and think about the events of the last nine months. I am not pregnant with a baby. I am 70 and will turn 71 March 7th. I may be pregnant in another sense. God is birthing in me a new walk and ministry.

This morning when I got up to walk out the physical pain in my body, I wondered how people who do not know the Lord Jesus get through life situations. It is the WORD of GOD that ministers to my soul and keeps me going one day at a time, no really ... One moment at a time.

My life has had many challenges from the time I was very young. I grew up with epilepsy, was a child from a broken home, blended families ... when my parents remarried. I was sexually molested. Things not talked about when I was young. Generational sins that form us and challenge our thinking. Well, I had my step-mother, who raised me, tell me one day after I was a young adult, "If you told anyone your story ... No one would believe you." Why those words came to mind this morning is because I was thinking on what to write about today, and the list of just the last nine months was so unbelieveable. If it was not a one day at a time, who could live and tell the stories. I will write of the lessons learned. I thought how do I go about this task, this is like a huge elephant. How do you eat an elephant? "One bite at a time," ... so, I will have to do it one bite at a time.

We went through the forecloser, and that was horrific. We had to move, but just before we got moved, my daughter-in-law called and screaming on the phone, hysterically (she is Phillipino, and I couldn't hardly understand) " Larry...... __unk_______ Keona, she is gone".... Were about the only words I could make out, then the word Larry and hosptial. She kept saying this, trying to make me understand. Immediate fear of death came over me, but did not know. When I figured out that Larry was at the hospital with Keona, I told her I would come get her.

Adora had just given birth, she had a two week old baby. Her 2 year old got sick with a cold and high fevor and apparently, Adora had been woke up to check Keona" temperature. Keona stopped breathing and Adora called out to Larry. He grabed Keona, and ran to the truck. It would take 911 to long, they had already tried baby cpr. He put her head on his lap and drove pressing her chest once in a while. About a mile away, there was the gasp of breath, a sound so haunting, no life in her. It was early morning and no trafic, thank God, as he speed to the hospital, he cried out, " Hang on baby, hang on.... come on" and he kept giving her CPR presses. He got to the hospital, drove up to the emergency room door, put it in park, opened the door and went running into the ER, passing the front desk,where they tried to get him to stop and talk. "He just yelled back she is not breathing!!!! As he ran he heard like a gasp. There was a sign of hope. It took awhile before there was normal breathing, and the doctor's poked getting IV's in her. There is an emergency room and hospital experience. A story all it's own.

Back to me, I started praying immediately. Called my husband who was working out of town. Asking him to pray. Got ahold of my daughter and ask her to get in on the prayer chain. I did not know anymore than the ... Larry, Keona, hospital and the horrific cries of a desperate Mother. Whitch to this day, when I talk about it, it still brings chills to me. I knew the power of prayer, and in the hall I have a framed saying, ... PRAY ...PRAYER CHANGES THINGS. We were praying as Larry was driving. We were praying as she took her first breath again, as Daddy was running. Shaking her up as he ran. We were praying in the ride to the hospital, when I took Adora. For the next four days Keona and Mom and Dad were at the hospital, and Grandma became "Mom to Kyla".

The high fever caused this seizure and she stopped breathing. It has been told me over the years, that my epilepsy was most likely due to having a high fever that caused pock marks, and a small perferation in the brain. I was 21 when they did an angio-gram (spelling I am not sure of) and the doctor said he found evidence to some sort of damage from most likely a high fevor.

It has been 9 months, and Keona has not had any other seizures, and is doing well. She is a talented three year old. She loves to sing, dance, and she makes our life a blessing. Last December Grandpa sang in the Christmas musical at church and she was up front watching. It has been two months and Keona tells everyone she meets. Grandpa sings in the choir.....Halle-u-yah, halle-oo-yah, halle-00-yah. In her own little pronouciation it brings us great joy, because she keeps the tune, and she loves it that Grandpa sang in the choir. Ironically, this is not a norm for him. But all this has taught us that our lives are lives of influence, and we are influencing the next generation while going through our tough times. They see the joy and message of Jesus Christ that takes us through these times. I will watch Keona come up to Grandpa and ask him to dance with her. They come to the kitchen and he dances with her. THERE IS SO MUCH TO THANK GOD FOR, AND TO PRAISE HIS NAME FOR, AND TO SHOUT HALLE-OO-YAH FOR.